Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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