Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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