He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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