But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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