Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
