no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
