I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
