he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
