The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
