We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Everclear isn't food dammit
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