I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
