Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
