She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
