Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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