I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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