i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
