She is in my trunk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize