i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize