I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
