did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
