I need help removing her.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
