I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize