coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
