I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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