Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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