She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
