Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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