Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
