Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
