I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
