there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Drake has all the answers
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
