we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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