So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
That accounts for only three of the penises
I fill condoms, not promises.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
