dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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