where does the pee come out of this thing
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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