I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
