You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
