Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
