We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
