There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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