The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
