my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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