singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize