the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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