it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
