Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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