mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
