Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
