would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
