So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You don't make any sense
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