i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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