Got a toothbrush?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
