Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Floor bacon is actually really good
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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