Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize