She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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