ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize