He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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