how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize