Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
