Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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