Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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