You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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